I really am sorry for all that has happened. It wasn’t supposed to go this way. This wasn’t what I had imagined. All that I ever wanted was to just be Dad. I wanted to be able to watch you grow. I wanted to watch you explore the new world you were in. I wanted to watch you learn while teaching you along the way. I wanted to be a part of every part of your life. I wanted to be there to heal you when you were sick. I wanted to be there to praise you on your accomplishments and be there to catch you when you fell. I wanted to be one that you came to when you needed advice. I wanted to be one that you looked up to, where you came to when life wasn’t nice. I just wanted to be Dad and have you, my little girls.
All the fighting, I didn’t ask for it. I didn’t seek it out. I didn’t start it. All of this. All of the problems. All of the fighting. Absolutely everything. It’s all your Mother’s fault. Period. She did this. No, I am not making excuses for my behavior. Your Mother is literally the cause of my behavior. Your mother is literally my problem. Your Mother IS the problem.
Sweetie, take a look at this one particular text that you sent me. I will respond to all your comments in it.
You say that I could have had more time with you but I didn’t ask? The only one that would know if I asked or not is your Mother. Your Mother lied to you. This entire website is about me asking to see you more, your entire life, and your Mother telling me no. Take a look at the Case File. This is everything that I have for the custody fight for you girls. Look at the size of it. Its ridicules. This is what I had to go through just to have anything to do with you girls. This is 20 years of me asking to see you more and 20 years of your Mother telling me no. Do you really think that I should have had to go through all of this just to see you, just to have anything to do with you?
I didn’t try taking you from your Mother or keeping you from her. All that I wanted was 50/50. Just equal time. That was it. Nothing more, nothing less. Your Mother told me no. Every. Single. Time.
Your Mother told you that I didn’t ask to see you more. Your Mother lied to you. Check out this text between me and your Mother from 2014.
Look at it. Look how much I tried to see you. Look at how much I ask. Look at how much your Mother makes up STUPID excuses and ALWAYS tells me no. No. Every. Single. Time.
I practically BEG to see you and your Mother tells me no. I try to talk some sense into your Mother and try to reason with her. It doesn’t work. Trying to reason with your Mother is like trying to clap with one hand.
This wasn’t just a onetime thing. This is just an example of what happened all the time. I asked a lot to have more time with you. To be able to see you more. To be more involved with you. Your Mother always told me no and would not let me.
Girls, your Mother lied to you!
You say that we don’t have a relationship because of how I treat you? Aside from what I said to you girls that I should not have, that was bad, I have always treated both of you girls very, very good. I think your little Video proves that? Yea, you’ve seen me get angry, swear, throw a few things but I have never gotten angry, swore or threw anything at you girls. I’ve never even spanked you when you were younger. I can count on one hand how many times I have actually gotten after you girls for anything, your entire life, and I don’t even need all five fingers. I have a pretty good clue as to how you formed this idea though? Your Mother. I have no doubt that it is your Mother twisting things around that you might tell her. This is probably what actually happened? You told your Mother something that you may have taken the wrong way which I’m sure whatever it was you probably did. I recall you saying once that I treat you different than your sister, unfairly. Well, I think that there are probably many teenagers that think this way at some point? In some cases it can be true. In most cases, probably not. In this case, not. I don’t blame you girls for anything. Nothing is your fault. It’s your Mother’s fault. We don’t have a relationship because your Mother would not let us.
This gave your Mother ammunition and she used it. Instead of your Mother telling you that you might have overreacted and misunderstood and that your Dad loves you girls the same and that you just need to talk to him about it, like a normal, good Mother would do. Your Mother used it to her advantage and brainwashed you into believing that I’m the bad guy. Your Mother manipulated you into believing that what you “thought” was true when it actually wasn’t. Your Mother did this to groom you to hate me. That is what she has been doing your entire lives.
I’m not lying. I’m not making anything up. Look at the 2010 Text between me and your Mother. The first one on the list. Your Mother accuses me of having kids that I walked out on and lied to you girls about it. Your Mother also told you that I was lying, according to her. Your Mother then tells me that you girls don’t want anything to do with me. Your Mother completely made up a false story about me and lied to you girls about it. You girls were only 4 and 5 years old at the time. Only 4 and 5. This was a really rotten thing to do to you girls at only 4 and 5 years old. This is what your Mother has been doing your entire lives, lying about me and lying to you. This is grooming you to hate me. This is Pure Evil.
Your Mother was able to do this because she had more of an influence on you because she had more time with you. With your Mother’s 272 days compared to my 93 days, your Mother was able to do a lot of damage, and she did. This is one reason why I could not get more time with you. If I were to have equal time with you that would have taken away your Mothers power. It would have taken away her ability to control and manipulate me and you girls. If I would have had equal time with you it would have been much more difficult, if not impossible, for your Mother to brainwash you.
Your Mother wanted you to hate me. That’s ultimately why you do. Your Mother didn’t ever want me in your life. She wanted me out. If it were not for the court ordered 93 days I did get, I would have not seen you at all. If it would have been up to your Mother, you wouldn’t even know who I am now. Your mother did everything she could to erase me from your life until she was finally able to manipulate you girls enough to succeed. I’m not lying. I’m not making things up. Your Mother takes care of those parts. I am telling you the truth. I always have.
I didn’t pick and choose when to be a Dad. Your Mother did that for me. Only 93 days a year of being Dad is all that she allowed me and not a second more while she had 272 days. Yea, there have been those few times that I didn’t get you or I took you back. All this fighting messes with my head so bad that those few times it just wasn’t in the right spot I guess? I am not making excuses. I am giving a reason.
I don’t blame it all on depression. I also blame what caused the depression, your Mother and her lunacy. I blame it on the pain that I felt because you girls were kept from me. I blame it on my tears that fell because I was shut out of your lives. I blame it on my anger that built up from constantly fighting for you. Your Mother did this. Not me. It was her. I blame your Mother.
I didn’t disown you. I can understand a little why you may think that but it’s not true. I took you back, didn’t pick you up, said those things to you. I shouldn’t have. My head just was not in the right spot, because of all this fighting. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was hurt and upset. I didn’t know how to deal with it? I didn’t know what to do? I guess I started feeling like you didn’t want to be with me anymore. It hurt. When it comes to you girls I get extremely sensitive and emotional. I can’t help it. I have always been that way with you girls. You’re my girls, my babies. That’s just how it is.
Being a jerk towards your Mother? I was and your Mother made me be that way. She asked for it. And the thing is, she was the same exact way to me but worse. Look through this website. I’m not lying about anything. I have been saying the same exact thing about your Mother for 20 years. Your Mother kept you girls from me. Your Mother kept me shut out of your lives. Your Mother forced me to fight for you. That’s all that I have been saying for the last 20 years. The same exact thing. Nothing has changed. However, every time I turned around and the sun came up your Mother had something new to accuse me of. It never stopped. And she always used these fake, distorted accusations to keep you from me.
I just wanted to be Dad but your Mother wouldn’t let me. That’s why I am a “jerk” towards your Mother. That’s why I am not nice.
I tried to get custody? With the “tone” of text that you are speaking, I can only assume that your Mother told you that I tried to get full custody. Your Mother lied to you. I tried to change custody. I tried to change it to 50/50. Equal time. I’m not lying. Look at the 2022 Motion Regarding Custody.
I specifically say, “The custody arrangement that I am requesting is simple. The only arrangement that is fair. Equal time. I have no desire to take our girls from Melanie, however, I do desire equal time. Alternating weeks, like summer, but year round.”.
Please, explain to me exactly what part of that is bad or unfair? I’ll listen…
These are the parts that your Mother doesn’t show you. You may think that you see everything that I say but you are only shown the parts that your Mother can twist into me being the bad guy. Your Mother doesn’t show you or tell you what she says or does. You have only seen what your Mother wants you to see. Your Mother only shows you bits and pieces. Only the parts that she can use to brainwash and manipulate you. You want to see everything? Look at this website. It’s all here. I have never lied to you girls. Your Mother has.
In 2009 I made my first attempt to change parenting time to not even equal time but just an extra weekend. I don’t lie to you. Look at it. And I quote, “Although I would prefer equal parenting time of every other week my current place of residence would be a hindrance to the education of our children as our oldest is approaching the age to start school so I ask the court to order that parenting time be changed to every other weekend as this would allow more time for our children and I to create a stronger parent child bond”. Never anything about getting custody. Just trying to get whatever I possibly could. Your mother told me no! I tried for more time on the weekends because of the distance I was living at the time. After I had moved closer I tried to change custody again. This time I asked for equal time. That’s it! Just equal time! Nothing more, nothing less! Your mother and the court told me no! Your mother lied to you!
Note: In 2009 it says, "I ask the court to order that parenting time be changed to every other weekend”. That was a typo. I meant every weekend. That was explained in court. They didn’t care.
Not going to your sister’s banquet? I don’t get how I could have gotten her in trouble by not going? I didn’t just decide to not go because I was mad. Yea, I was mad. Very mad, at your Mother. I have NEVER been mad at you girls.
Your Mother knows how to push my buttons because she uses you girls to do it. Your Mother knows that you girls are the only thing that she has that can hurt me so your Mother turned you girls into weapons to cause me that pain.
These texts here are the arguing between me and your Mother that night. It’s quite obvious how much your Mother is messing with me and how manipulative she is. Your Mother doesn’t show you this part.
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Girls, I’m sorry, but your mother has lied to you. If she was telling the truth, this website and all of its contents would not even exist. Your mother created all of this. If your mother was telling the truth I would not have 20 folders full of custody documents almost a foot thick. If your mother was telling the truth I might have only one folder with barely anything in it?
Look at this picture. Do you remember it? I don’t know exactly what it was for. I asked Grandpa Jim but he doesn’t really remember. It was some sort of dance thing I think? Regardless, the exact event description is irrelevant.
The point is, this “dance”, like a few daddy/daughter dances, I was not able to take you. Because of your Mother. Your Mother did not allow me. This is an example of your Mother shutting me out of your lives.
Your Mother did not tell me about these events or daddy/daughter dances. She said nothing. She made no attempt to let me, the only one that had the right to take you, take you. She let Darlow do it because your Mother was trying to replace me. Trying to replace me with someone that she is not even with anymore. She was. If she wasn’t I’d be in that picture. Your Mother was trying to replace me and I should not be angry about that? Really, you girls should be angry too. Not at me. Angry with your Mother. Your Mother shut me out of your lives. Your Mother kept you from me. I didn’t even see you part-time. It was less than part-time. Your Mother made me a less then part-time Dad. Your Mother basically forced you girls to grow up without a Dad. And now that you are adults your mother was able to convince you to continue on without me. Without your Dad. Your mother has wanted me out of your lives your entire lives. She accomplished that and lied to do it.
It wasn’t until Darlow actually stepped up and said something to your Mother that I was able to start taking you to daddy/daughter dances. Darlow stepped up and told your Mother that me, your Dad, should be taking you to these daddy/daughter dances and not him. It was only because of Darlow that I was able to start taking you otherwise it would have never had happened. Darlow told me this himself. Is it right for your mother to rob me of that? Is it right for your mother to rob you girls of that? That’s exactly what she did. This is the kind of crap your mother has been pulling all your lives. This is an example of why I fight with your mother. Your mother makes me fight with her by pulling crap like this.
Now I’m gonna talk about grandma Dawn for a minute. I have showed you girls messages that I have received from grandma. At least I tried to show you. You didn’t want to see them. You didn’t want to hear them. It seems that you thought that grandma was lying. Ok, fair enough.
Take a look at this message from Grandma.
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Grandma says “There is so much you should have been included in with those girls! And she is ridicules not informing you. Things like daddy/daughter dance. School programs, it’s all ridicules she doesn’t inform you of those things then tells everyone what a deadbeat you are. Makes me sick!”.
Did you notice that grandma says that your mother keeps me from the daddy/daughter dances? Grandma isn’t lying. That picture up there proves that grandma told the truth. Although that picture is not a daddy/daughter dance it is still the basic concept to get across my point. So, if grandma is telling the truth about the daddy/daughter dances why would she lie about anything else? That doesn’t make any sense?
Girls, your Mother lied to you!
Grandma didn't lie. I have not lied to you. Your mother has lied. Your mother kept you from me. Your mother shut me out of your lives. Your mother forced me to fight for you. I should not have had to do this. I hate your mother more than anything on this planet, but I love you girls more. I love you girls enough that would not take you from your mother or try keeping you from her. You girls should know this to be true. But your mother did that to me.
How do you know this to be true? Remember when you with me during the summers when you were old enough to stay by yourself when I went to work? I always had given you three choices of what to do while I was working. You could stay home (at my place). Or, you could go to Grandma’s. Or, you could go with your Mother. I always gave you those three choices, always, and it was always your choice. If you chose your Mother I let you go without any issues and I never questioned it. I never stopped you from going to your Mothers.
"Sweetie, this is for you but both of you need to listen. Sweetie, you are now a mom yourself. You now understand that the love you feel for your own child is different than anything you have ever felt. Now you should really understand how much I love you girls. You now have a son. A son, my grandson that I am not allowed to meet, see, love. I don’t even know his name? Sweetie, please, do better than that. YOU are better than that. You are doing the same exact thing that your Mother did to me and to you girls that caused all these problems to begin with. Literally, the same exact thing. Do better. Be better. You are better."
This part above my daughter did see it and it upset her. I look at it again and I can see why. That came out wrong, Sweetie. I'm sorry. I was in no way suggesting that my daughter is a bad mother. I don't think that she is. I remember when she was a kid when she played with baby dolls. She had this one baby doll that she named "Flower". She took that doll everywhere. She had everything for it. A bed, diaper bag, a high chair, a stroller and a car seat. She brought along her doll a lot on rides. She brought the stroller, the diaper bag and of course the car seat. I always let her. I never told her no. It was fun to watch. My daughter took very good care of her baby doll. I have no doubt she is a good mom.
I defiantly am not a perfect dad. I’ve made many mistakes and messed up bad. I’ve said things to you girls that I should not have. I’ve acted in ways that I should not have. I am truly, truly sorry! You were really hurt and upset from it. You were really mad at me for it. I understand. I don’t blame you. I deserve for you to be upset and angry with me. But I don’t think that I deserve for you to hate me like you say you do.
All these problems, all the fighting is because I was forced to fight for you girls. I didn’t do that. Your mother did. No, your Mother didn’t directly cause me to say what I did. No, your Mother didn’t directly cause me to not come and pick you up, the times that I didn’t and was able to. However, ultimately, your Mother is the cause. All of your Mother’s crap. All of her lies about me. Your Mother keeping you from me. Your Mother shutting me out of your lives. Your Mother forcing me to fight for you. That’s what did it. This crap over the years has severely beaten me up. It has messed with my head so bad that some days I can’t even think straight. Most days I can barely function. This happened because I love you girls so much. This happened because your Mother knows how much I love you and you were the only thing that she had that could hurt me. Your Mother did this.
I know what I said to you girls was bad. It wasn’t good for sure. I’m truly sorry for it. I didn’t mean it. But what your Mother has done is so much worse. Your Mother is 100% the cause of all these problems. Your Mother did this.
Both of you girls have been brainwashed and manipulated so severely that you don’t and can’t see that the ultimate reason why you are hating on me is because your Mother wants you to. That Is Pure Evil.
I love both of you girls more than anything on this planet. For the last twenty years you girls have been my whole world. All I ever wanted was to just be Dad. That, you, my happiness was taken from me. Not because of me. It was because of your Mother. I fought for you. I begged for you. I cried for you. I went through hell for you. And I would do it again because I love you that much. You’re my girls.
I did this for you!
I love you and miss you so much. Please come back,
-Dad